september 22 2021

article is social networking sites by daniel miller. love to read lol

september 17 2021

honestly i'm kind of annoyed at myself for deleting my blog page out of pure impulse but i guess that's something to work on lol. i deleted it because i started remembering what kind of headspace i was in when i was working on this blog like last year and the year prior to that and i was like ... at the idea of anyone i know reading it and at me reading it again. which honestly was a dumb instinctual reaction. but i don't think i could've done anything else BUT delete it.

but in case anyone is wondering how i've been since june i'll summarize: i was doing better for a little bit, then i wasn't, then i was, then i wasn't, and then i was, and then finally and ultimately, i'm not. some of the things that upset me last year resolved in a messy way at my feet this year. everything feels weird and complicated and just stupid but also refreshingly simple in some ways. learning to "be okay" about things but also not to be complacent about my own pain. yada yada.

hopefully i'll get back into using this blog again soon. honestly this page kind of became a source of shame for me because i just stopped using it after investing so much time. but doing something not perfect is better than not doing it at all. so. i'll work on doing a revamp next.